What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
organizing the empties. That sober.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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