omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
