It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
