Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
