you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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