wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
last night I used snow as a chaser
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
