That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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