seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
