i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My dick has a subreddit
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize