I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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