Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
