It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
