btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
