I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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