Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
