Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
