Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize