Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
