He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
