I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would ride that face into the sunset
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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