I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I smell like Dick and happiness
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