Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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