would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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