Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
