Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
