with your own penis?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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