she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
God, I missed his penis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
