I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize