Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
