New invention idea: vibrating tampons
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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