I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
