I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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