Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
