my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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