So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
