ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
