The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
