Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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