margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
