just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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