I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
