All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
