Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
