i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
