you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
don't judge my taste in strippers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
