do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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