Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
