I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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