Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
