Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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