when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
