This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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