did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
