I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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