I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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