Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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