You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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