what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
