I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it because I queefed?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
