Fuck appropriateness.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
