Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
