Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize